There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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