I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
high people should be assigned attendants
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
