I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
