Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm passing your future prison.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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