In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
