HIV tests are more positive than that guy
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
