Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
