You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
