Porn is love you can see.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
thus making me awesome and them whores
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize