Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
