I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
You can't special order awesome
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize