he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
