I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
