This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
May the power of my ass compel you!!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
