once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
