I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
