I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
