I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
