after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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