dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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