You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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