Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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