I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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