Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
