i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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