you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
