she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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