...so i touched it.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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