I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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