I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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