Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
