Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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