how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
