You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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