All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
