The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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