Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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