on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
