At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
This is the high leading the old right now
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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