Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize