It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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