mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize