I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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