i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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