I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
