If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
