I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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