I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
