What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
