I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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