i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
