if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
