I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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