Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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