I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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