Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
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I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
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We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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