My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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