You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
nutella sex= disaster
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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