He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
i now understand why vodka
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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