Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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