last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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